Celtic Knot

My (Bloody Awful) Poetry:

Most of this was written when I was in high school so it's appropriately angsty. I haven't written near as much as I would have liked to since I entered the grown-up world. Perhaps I'll get back into it someday soon. Who knows? Stranger things have happened.

Yin & Yang

Lovers,
easily hurt,
scars last forever,
but they never learn.
Two broken hearts,
never mending,
enemies.

~ Kimberly Joy, 1987 (age 15)

Butterflies

These be
  three graceful things:
The ballerinas' dance,
  Butterflies,
    The lioness stalking her prey.

~ Kimberly Joy, 1988 (age 16)

A Long Day

Sleepily I open my eyes,
The warm sun beats down on my sleek,
Well-toned back;
My fur feels singed.

I roll over on my bed of pine green moss,
Slowly getting up.
I stretch my paws out in front of me
And arch my limber back skyward.
"Ah, much better, now for breakfast."
I think to myself as an unsuspecting, gray mouse scampers by.

"What a stupid creadure," I think
as I catch its tail under my quick paw.
"Should I play with it for a while,
or put it out of its misery?
I think I'll give it to Alex as a gift,
After all, she has always been kind towards me.
She never pulls my tail, or whiskers,
And she always keeps that blue rimmed saucer full of cream."

I strutt into the house, my head held high,
The limp mouse in my powerful jaws.
I drop the gift at her feet and look up proudly,
But instead of getting petted, or my ears scratched,
I got hit on the backside with the end of a broom
And swept out the door along with the gray mouse I brought as a gift.

"Some thanks! See if I ever bring her a mouse again."

~ Kimberly Joy, 1998 (age 16)

Disillusionment of a Haunted House

My house is haunted by white ghosts.
None of them are black with fuchsia polka-dots,
Or jade with gold stripes.
None of them are strange,
With hats of chantilly lace,
Or love beads, peace signs,
And John Lennon glasses.
They are not appearing in our rooms
And scarring my sleeping relatives,
Who are not dreaming of goblins or blue fairies.
Only now and then, a very young ghost,
Sneaks up behind someone,
And yells,
"Boo!"

~ Kimberly Joy, 1988 (age 16)

Come Home

Darkness fall around me,
At the end of every day.
Every second the fear grows stronger,
It will not go away.

Red beams shatter the darkness,
The fear begins to fade.
Silver beams reflect off the shards,
As cold as a steel blade.

The dream appears again,
Of the world I long to know.
Calling me to my home at last,
Telling me I must go.

The portal opens in this world,
I know it won't be long.
It's drawing my friends nearer our homeland,
On the wings of an ancient song.

The portal closes behind me,
Suddenly I'm frightened and alone.
Then, looking around, I see my friends,
And realize that I'm finally home.

~ Kimberly Joy, 1998 (age 16) {Krynn/Dragonlance tribute}

Souls Desire

Walking alone in the light -
  I fall into darkness;
    a warm, seductive darkness,
      appearing never-ending.
  It entices and enfolds me
    within its web.
  I search in every shadowed corner,
    but there is no escape.

It vanishes. Strangely, I find
  that the darkness
    was the light.
  I'm lost and
    alone.

What will it take to find my lost love?
  A tantalizing night with a stranger,
    or a bitter walk with an old friend?
  In this life, I may never know,
    but I can't forget my soul's desire.

All I can tell you is this;
  "How can I go through life
    without my right arm.
  Although my left will suffice,
    it just isn't enough...."

~ Kimberly Joy, 1989 (Age 16) {for DR}

A Second Chance

I started out with nothing to give.
I was empty,
Incapable of feeling,
Of loving,
I couldn't - not again.
For when you left,
You drained
A little of my life
From me - leaving me
Hollow,
Void of any hope.

Then you came back into my life.

At first,
I held tight to what
Remained of my heart
For fear of losing it
Again,
For I love to quickly;
And I scar too easily,
But, with time,
I let go
And gave myself to you
Again,
Hoping you would take me
Within your heart
And surround me
With your warmth.

And now
That you have welcomed me
Back into your life,
And wrapped me up
In the blanket of your love,
I pray that you will never
Leave my side again.

I love you.

~ Kimberly Joy, 1989 (Age 17) {for DMS}

The Dream

A young child suckling,
But not at his mother's breast,
While a lion cub purrs contentedly
On the young woman's lap.

Walking out her back door,
And into the future,
She sees a young man standing
Stroking a lion's mane.

She knows him from the distant past,
Another life,
Her only love,
And yet, she doesn't remember
the union of their souls,
In that lost time
So very long ago.

Slowly he stalks her, circling around her,
She hears the faint call of the jungle,
And, lost memories of the soul remembered,
She reaches out to him,
Knowing at last.

He draws her into his embrace
And their souls unite again into a single flame.
The lion purrs contentedly in the heat of the afternoon sun.

~ Kimberly Joy, 1989 (age 17)

Shadows

They do not hear the voices
  that whisper
    among the shadows
      spinning horrible tales of my fate.

They do not feel the eyes
  upon them
    that sear through my flesh
  to touch my quivering,
    naked soul.

They do not see them lurking
  in the shadows, watching,
    silently waiting
  for me to stumble too close.

They do not understand my fear
  of the many things
    unseen…
      but felt.
   For they do not know the shadows
    that surround me.

~ Kimberly Joy, 1990 (age 17)

Here I Sit

Here I sit,
letting tears flow
unchecked,
down flushed cheeks.
Tears I wouldn't
release earlier
though they stung behind
painfully dry eyes
and threatened to show.

Here I sit,
tear streaked face
resting on clenched fists,
propped up by shaky elbows,
crying over you
because you play games
of yes and no,
showing in your every gesture
the feelings
you won't admit
your feeling
though your actions
betray you….

Your protective embrace,
the gentle kisses you place upon my forehead,
your gaze, and, yes,
even your sarcasm
that cuts me deeper than any knife
with every denial you hurl,
though I know they're not meant
to convince me…
…but you,
that the feelings aren't there.

Here I sit,
stomach tied into knots
wondering why we both
try so hard
to keep each other out,
instead of opening up
and letting each other in.

If only I weren't so afraid
of your ridicule,
I would tell you,
that I want to hold you,
to kiss you,
to run my fingers
through silken strands
of your hair,
and to feel
your even breathing
fall across my breast
as you sleep,
now… and forevermore.

Yet here I sit.

~ Kimberly Joy, 1990 (age 17) {for JDS}

Shadowlost

She sat silently pondering;
  she often got lost doing this,
    lost in the shadows,
  (there are so many to get lost in you know)
      which frightens her.

What have we done?
  What are we doing?
These thing she often asked
  of herself…
    of others…
      of god (whom she doubted existed).

She called these questions out to the blank sky,
  to friends and strangers alike,
for the world frightened her
  and although she felt,
    alone…
      misunderstood….
she was not
  the only
    one.

~ Kimberly Joy, 1990 (age 17)

Misplaced Childhood

Lightning flashes,
Ripping through the fabric
Of my mind,
The thunder sounds,
Echoing inside my head.

She's screaming her presence,
Refusing to be silenced,
To be pushed away any longer.
The child, neglected & forgotten,
Is refusing to hide herself
Among the shadows of my soul
Anymore.

She's crying out to be understood,
Reaching out to be loved
Regardless of the grief it has caused us;
Endless searching and yearning for compassion,
Countless tears and scars from rejection.

The lightning is now
The anger flashing in her eyes;
The thunder, her screams of agony.
Refusing to yield
To be neither seen, nor heard
She takes upon herself the very
Powers of nature
Forcing the world,
And myself,
To recognize her at last.

Now I must take her hand
And go where she will lead me,
Down the paths of sorrow and pain
And through nightmares that I've refused to face,
To the end;
To the place where I find myself again,
And take up the child within myself,
No longer a prisoner of the past,
But a beacon of the future.

~ Kimberly Joy, 1991 (age 19)

Fall

Trees clad in scarlet leaves
Will shed their bright desire,
And robed in winter's snowy fleece
Will dream of summer's fire.

~ Kimberly Joy, 1999 (age 26)

Liquid Love

Baby at my breast
fill your belly with my love,
warm and sweet as cream.

~ Kimberly Joy, 2000 (age 28)

Kimberly's Poetry


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